Well, my husband had a stroke at home, I had to call the ambulance, to take my husband to the hospital, when the doctor came to talk to me, he told me my husband, went in a coma. I went in to the back and his body was jumping and his eyes were close, the doctor said, he had a anerursym to the brain, that cause the stroke. I had to sign paper to do surgery on on is head, and when he came out of surgery, he was in a coma, this all happen Dec.27, 98. It was 5 days that he was in a coma, he came out of the coma, and he ask for me, I went in there, and he was talking and I could not understand what he was sayng. The doctor came in the room, and told me, my husband had to learn how to talk, eat, walk. Well, my husband is like a child and he is in a wheelchair and he can not walk...he is paralyzed on is left side. I took care of him for 2 years, and then my dad past away Dec.24, 1999, and that was very hard on me to handle.I was close to my dad, my mom left when I was 5 years olds, my dad raise me and my grandmom,my sister and brother went to live with other family, but when we got older, then we all live toghter. I was living in Elizabeth City, and in 2000 I moved to Roper to live near my mom and my stepdad. I bought me a piece a land and a trailer. I took care of my husband and then I had a Aid come in and help me, one day I was gone and he wheeled hisself in the kitchen and got a knife and the Aid had to get it from him, she took he to a mental place, which I have been going to Mental Health, for anxiety and depression, back to him. So, the people from Mental Health, wanted to put him in a Mental place in Greenville, N.C., so they did and there is were he stay I guess a month and then they wanted to send him home, but I told them, that I could not handle him anymore. So, he is in a Rest Home, I have not seen him in 7 years, our marrigae was not that good, he cheated on me. She was a friend of mine, she got kick out where she was living, so she did not have anywhere to put her stuff, so I said we got plenty of room , you can bring your thing here and we will hold them for her tell you find a place to go, and this was 1991, so my husband was seening her behind my back, but I find out and I lefted him, for about a month and the I went back to him. So, I moved on with my life, and it has been hard, I don't get that much money, and it takes everything I got to pay my bills. Dec. 4, 2006, I got in a car wreck, I lost my car, I had a car behind me and I was going to make a left hand turn and they past me on the left hand side, they near hit the back of my car, they hit, from the back door to the front door, took my mirror off. All they got was failing to reduce speed, they did not get hurt, but I did, my back and my neck is mess up,and my right eye is messed up and my left leg, from my hip to my knee is messed up, I have to go to a Chiropractic, but that is not helping, I have had a Migraine since May 3, 2007 and it want go away. I got a lawyer, but it is taking awhile, I got to go to my doctor for my shoulder, I had surgery awhile back, but when I got in the car wreck, it did something to it, I will find out May 31, 2007. And the bad part, I had to buy a car, that I have to start it with a scewdriver, not all the time but most of the time and I got lot of doctor I have to go to.I did not get the value of my car, so I bought a car for $ 600.00 and it is 1993 and I had a 1997 and it was a good car. Well, there is more of this story, but this is about all I am going to write.....all I got to say I am having a rough time. And with my credit I can't go and get a car, which I need a car to get back and forth to my doctors. I do have a boyfriend, I took care of him for 2 years, when he did not have money coming in, I payed for is doctor bills and his medicine, and that put me behind....he is disable and he lost is job, but he got is job back, but he is out on medicain, and I know he gets good money, because he worked at Ford Planet, my dad work there too. I got behind on my bills when he did not have money coming in, I had to play the light company back $800.00 dollars back and I did it myself, it was hard, because I was paying to light bills. Now he gets payed from Ford and I make him give me $400.00 a month and I get SSI and SS, but is is not alot of money, I get $ 643.00 a month, I have the light bill, trailor paymont, Ins on my car, house phone, celluar phone which all my doctor call me on, water bill, my internet...that is cheap, but putting gas in my car is not cheap, which I got alot of doctor to go to, because of the car wreak. My boyfriend, don't think he needs to get me anymore money, he gets payed every week, and in June he is going on a fishing trip, that is $200.00 dollars and you know he is going to be spending more, I ask him at the begin of this month, I need his help on bill, because, I missed up and had to pay the bank $400.00 dollars back, thats because I did not have the amount of money in the bank and I needed to pay my light bill and my trailor payment and I forgot about my Ins. they take out. But what makes me mad, he goes and spends alot of money and I know it is his money, but I have gave him a place to live, and I hate to ask for help, then we get in a arguement. He tell me that it is all my doing, that he is not the one, that screw up my checking account, I know I screw it up, but it is had sometime, to keep everything straight, he wants me to help with his stuff and I can't, it is hard to keep up with mine. I feel like he is using me, I have kick him out, some many time, but he will not leave and I don't want to call the law. He has not hit me, I got a bad temp. and he know that. He is nice to everybody else and help them. I just ask him for money and I got to hear alot of mess. Right now I need my light bill and trailor payment payed and help getting a use car, that I can depend on.I got 4 dog's I call my baby's, I do not have any kids and can't have any, but I had my dogs before my husband got sick....I got a male he is 15 years old and I had to take him to the Vet, it cost me $ 300.00 dollars and I am still paying on that. I don't like to ask for help, but I need help, I can't get a loan, can't  afford it ,I am 4 months behind on my trailor payment.....So, I don't know if a loan is good for me, but I don't know what to do. This is my story.... I hope you read it and tell me what I can do?  Thank you. And I write poems....I got 4 poems in the International Library of Poetry, I wish I can go somewhere when my poems....I got 18 poems that I have wrote.....here is one of my poems....